User talk:Russell Dovey

This is a piece of fiction intended to fit inside the ongoing plot arc of a roleplaying game I play in regularly. It takes the form of a character's personal log, recorded on a digital dictaphone. The character is a very psychologically damaged individual, as you'll see if you read on. Please don't confuse Morton's screwed-up diary for anything other than fiction.

Morton's Log, 10 PM, <insert date of Avatar's death>

I want to die.

All those kids, dead. That little girl, possessed by a demon queen and frightened out of her mind (or most likely into its darkest depths), turned in less than half a second into obscene gore. By my hand. My magic. My will, at the least.

Was it necessary?

The part of me that isn't currently screaming inside my head says yes, of course it was. The Avatar threatened the very existence of our modern civilisation, even our very souls. What's one little girl's life, compared to the fate of billions?

It's one life. One life is all life, and every time one life goes, we are all diminished, just a little bit, forever after, I am screaming.

But death isn't the answer. Now I know where the dead go. Either way, I'm screwed. One place puts me in her playful hands to torture for eternity, and the other would cause me to start hating Heaven for existing when there are places like Hell.

Or Earth, I scream.

So I have to stay here, killing the innocent few to save the unknowing many. What a job. Then again, now that we've killed the Avatar, we can focus on taking down the just-slightly-less-than-innocent Cartel.

And hopefully the fuckers behind the Cartel won't be 14 years old, because one day we're going to face off, and I'm not holding back.

I'm still screaming in my head. I bet Sean knows. I wish I'd stop, just for a second...

Morton's Log, <insert afternoon of ritual awakening>

Man, I never knew that something so illogical and unscientific could make so much sense. It's got a strange kind of rythym to it, this spellmaking, but I think I've got it down now. First things first of course. I've infused some Roadblocker cartridges with the essence of purity, and it seems to have gone well so far. Let's just hope I didn't screw up.

I must admit, I'm almost looking forward to facing those demons, now that I can shoot them.

Hey, I'm not screaming any more!

Morton's Log, <insert date 5 days into downtime>

It's been an interesting week. New designs and improvements have been racing around my brain faster and faster these days, and my notepad is full of drawings. I've got a few prototypes partly finished, and I've been using the time in between machine cycles to carefully and subtly ascertain whether Jackie would finally crack under my constant stream of questions about this or that electronic component, and shout at me to "Just make a list of everything and give it to me, now go away!"

So, here's the list. It includes detail of my new trenchcoat, all-new designs to replace all my current weapons, and an extremely cool robot drone I've been thinking about for a while. Also, Jackie, I'm sure you'll be interested in the changes I'm making to the ninja suit.

Don't worry, the basic specs are unchanged! (You would strangle me if you needed to code the whole NinjaOS again) but I've added a larger backpack to accomodate weapon storage slots and ammunition stores, and the active ammunition feed system.

I just need you to code a subsystem to keep all that organised and efficient, and help me rebalance the microspiral controllers to cope with the extra weight. I know they do it automatically, but let's just check them anyway, hmmm? Oh, and the umbilical ammo-tubes will need software, as well as... I'd better just put it on the list:

Morton's Magnificent Machines, Phase 2

Storage, Sensing, Stealth, and Armour

1. Trenchcoat Upgrade

Okay, Jackie, think of this: We don't need to mount your little screens on scales if we don't care about armour. In fact, making a non-armour "invisibility cloak" should actually be easier than the stealth suit, since we can just make a whole sheet of organic display.

Therefore, we should make my trenchcoat into an invisible cloak.

I am also making some modifications to my trenchcoat's mechanisms. For this, I'm afraid electronic expertise is required. I need you to design me an OS for the ammo-storage and loading system I've designed, that backpack idea. In my trenchcoat everything is spread out, though, and the looping gets quite complex for someone without computational ability.

Now, you'll see that I've left several ammo-loading slots open after the two Bernies and the Scorpion are accounted for. They are for some designs I've been trying to grasp in my head for a while. They're on the tip of me brain, I tells ya! Ah well, I'm sure I'll figure out the energy density problem soon. Oh, and I think I'll need you to code an OS for my next technology.

2. Ninja Suit Upgrade

Okay, Jackie, here's the deal. I'm getting away from the simple "space to store stuff" backpack in the current suit. I'd call the new iteration more of a modular storage cluster than anything, and don't worry if some of the ammo "pockets" are a little weird-lookin.

Okay, a list of the storage spaces and associated mechanisms:

- "Holsters", where the two DECs, my Scorpion rifle, my dartgun, the MP5 (I'll replace it soon), and about twelve grenades reside. - "Ammo Pouches" where ammunition for the MP5, Bernies and the Scorpion is kept ready to be fed through the... - "Ammo Loading Tubes" feed ammo through a spiralfiber tube, which connects itself upon command, to any compatible weapon, keeps that weapon supplied with ammo like an endless clip. This'll be the tough coding, I think. Oh, and we'll need embedded radio chips in all the weapons.

Man, I'm glad this suit is invisible. I'll look even more knobbly and mutated now. Oh, I guess you'll have to allow for that in your disguise software.

You know, I had an idea a while back about some kind of rope system to quickly flip weapons from my pack into my hands while suited up. I've just realised I don't need it. I can flip them around all by myself.

Weapons 'n Ammo.

1. Electronic Ignition and Positional Sensing

Put simply, this design feature revolutionises modern weaponry.

EIPS means that small(small!) radio-capable chips, integrated with detonators, built into every bullet eliminate the need for a pin, and allow the gun's electronics to know exactly where each bullet is at all times within radio range. The sniper bullets have powerful chips, capable of positional communication within 5 km, and detonation within 7. (After 5 kilometres, the accuracy of the bullet's trajectory may drop a fair whack, however.)

I freely admit having stolen the idea for this from those wacky folks over at MetalStorm, but a) Aklabar is not a party to the International Treaty on Patents, and b) I've done a much better job, as well as changing the basic idea almost beyond recognition.

Of course, it's not the fault of Metalstorm that I improved on their designs threefold after three days of jotting notes and sketches in-between periods of utter terror and sickening moral constipation.

2. Variable Dimension Firing Chamber

The secret ingredient that I've added is the "Variable Dimension Firing Chamber", which does away with the need to change barrels. With a VDFC, a bullet is propelled into the chamber through the back (by an array of microspiral tubules), then an interlocking sheaf of co-supporting flange plates (Titanium-tungsten layered) flicks into position to backstop the chamber just as the round's charge is electronically detonated. The flanges are similar to muscles in the iris, or the focussing lens of a camera, except that they must be able to flick in and out at least twenty times a second, to any of twenty or so predetermined settings.

The sheaf must then flick away again so the process can repeat. The precision required to achieve this reliably is difficult, I can tell you, especially since these flanges must be solidly in place at exactly the right time to withstand enormous blast pressures like those in the Bernie DEC or Scorpion sniper rifle. We're talking ten-millisecond timing, here.

The advantages of the VDFC combined with EIPS are many. The barrel's structural integrity is greatly improved by not having to shift bullets in through a hole in the base. In the Bernie, unfortunately, the spent cartridge must still be ejected sideways. The Scorpion, however, avoids the need for cartridge ejection entirely through a monolithic bullet design, while the Slivergun has a really thick barrel anyhow.

3. Organic Polymer Display Sheathing

This idea came to me while I was building the microspiral tubule fabricator. (I'm making one that, unlike the machine tools we usually use, can spit out tubules by itself as long as its hopper tray is topped up with components. This allows me to leave it going while we go gallivanting around the place, post a Sebitti to refill the tray every day, and come back to a whole pile of metallic muscles ready to be utilised.)

These weapons look a lot simpler on the outside, too. No safety, ROF, or cocking switch to be seen. No need for a pull-action breech. These weapons retain ammunition clips (except for the Burnie DEC) since I don't want to limit myself if fighting without my suit or trenchcoat.

However, turning them invisible still can't hurt. <evil grin> The OPL technology designed and fabricated by the illustrious and bashfully intelligent Jackie Amos, applied to weapons, solves the problem of being an invisible ninja with visible guns. It also allows the user, if equipped with display technology like my smart glasses, to aim and fire a gun over one's shoulder with accuracy and stealth.

Once I figure out how to mass-fabricate molecular phase arrays, we could emit tailored laser beams on the fly from these skin displays. Now that'll be fun.

4. "Bernie" Directed Explosion Cannon

This hellish device, named after the only person I know who is just as abrasive, loud, and frighteningly effective, was inspired by my trusty sawn-off modified Roadblocker. I'll miss that little beauty.

The Bernie is designed for turning enemies into ground-hugging fog and vaporising pesky barriers at close range, with speed and utter lack of subtlety. Just the horrific sound of this thing going off frightens the shit out of me. I swear I saw one of my Sebitti crew jump. He denies that Sebitti are capable of any such thing, of course. I know what I saw, claw-boy.

The field of Biblical-style devastation is a cone about 10 metres long, and 3 metres wide at the far end. Tradeoffs in design mean the flechettes can't really penetrate effectively beyond that (although they'll still seriously mutilate a healthy unarmoured human at 15 metres, I will never fire this weapon at a healthy unarmoured human, or may the redneck Sebitti eat my heart.)

Heavy flechettes are my own idea. The conical shape ensures both penetration and kinetic transfer, so that these little monsters bore an expanding hole through you before ripping themselves apart and taking a dinnerplate-sized chunk of flesh with them.

Anyone with body armour will be even worse off, ironically enough, unless it's some material I haven't thought of. The armour will absorb the entire kinetic stress, and even a Sebitti would be killed by the shards of their own exoskeleton under these conditions.

Basically, the problem I always saw with flechettes was that they were too light to have real punch in a shrapnel capacity. I want to be able to shoot the front of a car and make holes in the back numberplate. Therefore, I've simply made all my flechettes out of nice, heavy lead, with a titanium shell for strength, while keeping them under 5mm across and 20 mm long.

The cartridges are a little like claymore mines. They are simple 10 cm long titanium cylinders with a polymer forecap, filled with heavy flechettes. The conical shape of the flechettes allows a nasty mix of high explosive and guncotton to fill the gaps. It's my own special take on Metalstorm, really. There is an electronics package with a radio detonator at the front of the shell. Front, you say? Oh yeah.

While the Bernie might sound like the gates of Hell have been kicked down by an angry Jesus (I'm glad Sean isn't reading this) it actually detonates the cartridge regressively, front to back, so the flechettes leave in a staggered progression. It's like Metalstorm, and indeed it captures the Metalstorm spirit more accurately in my opinion, but implemented mechanically. Each firing takes around a twentieth of a second.

Combine this with the fact that each cartridge is integrated into the electronic system I've devised, and this baby can pour out death like water from the Amazon. The flechettes are stream-grooved, so they will actually remain point-first in flight before drilling through the monster in question. 50% of every load are also hollow-point, sacrificing penetrating power for gooifying power.

I've made the DEC entirely out of titanium, like all my new to- uh, personal offense weapons, so this weapon weighs only one-fifth of what it would if it was steel, and is five times as strong. I can't use standard polycarbon composites because they would snap under the recoil. Hell, carbon steel might snap under the recoil. Anyway, the light weight, only 3 kilograms, allows me to store two in my suit backpack or trenchcoat. This has the advantage that I can have one in each hand when wearing the ninja suit, enabling truly stupid destructive capability.

Without the suit, my arms may break from the recoil on full-auto. This mother has a kick. Then again, firing the thing when not inside active titanium-reinforced kevlar power armour would be suicidal, if only for the fact that a large chunk of whatever I fire it at is about to be travelling just above the speed of sound.

Granted, mostly in the opposite direction, but I don't really feel like testing how well I can heal the shockwave-blasted ragged holes a thousand screaming shards of metal tearing through me at supersonic velocity will leave.

The ammunition-clip holds only two cartridges, but the unique umbilical spiral-motion ammo-tube I've designed can feed rounds into the gun as fast as it can be fired (full arm-shattering auto at ten rounds a second, two-round burst, or semi-auto.) When the tubes start pulsating around from my backpack to my arms it'll be pretty obvious, but somehow I don't think that will be a huge issue, stealth-wise.

(Since I'm going to try using two at once, I might actually have some close rolls for a change! Also, if you have some kind of signature rating, ie difficulties to perception tests to hear or see these, I humbly suggest that a negative value might be appropriate for the Burnie DEC.)

5. "Scorpion" Sniper Rifle

This black-ops wet dream of a weapon is named in honour of my good old friends in the special ops division of the Knights Ballistade. Like them, it is quiet, folds away to escape attention, unfolds extremely quickly when needed, and efficiently kills things that should not be. (Human or otherwise.) I will use it with honour, in homage to theirs.

Even though I modified my Barret down to a metre in length (that was an interesting afternoon!) and sectioned it for easy field assembly, it was still too bulky. I also hate having to waste a whole third of a minute assembling a weapon in a combat situation.

Therefore, I have designed a long range precision rifle that exceeds all others.

Using the customised EIPS rounds, a skilled operator can utilise the advantages of both armour-piercing and explosive weaponry at extreme ranges, while maintaining a low profile.

Each 10mmx50mm round is quite complex. Due to the specialised needs of a sniper, the bullet has no casing. Instead, there is a primary ignition detonator embedded in a tamped hemisphere of guncotton/C4 mix immediately behind the main slug. The slug is composed of three metals:

- Tungsten, a 1 cm thick layer next to the primary charge, designed to shield the main shell from the primary's heat early on (out to about 1500) but efficiently transmit that heat to the steel body, softening it in order to enhance the secondary explosion. It will also absorb the heat of any impact from the titanium shell, so the steel retains cohesion longer.

- Steel, a 3.5 cm layer surrounding the secondary charge, for weight and shrapnel, and for going molten. Hopefully at the right time.

- Titanium, a 5 mm armour-piercing layer over the front half, for strength, and to induce cavitation via its intricate grooves (The first one I made, and kept, then I started the death machine up and made some more..)

Buried in the center of gravity of the shell in flight, a secondary detonation/location chip sends real-time range information back to the shooter. The chip is nestled behind a little ovoid of C4, ready to detonate and spray molten and shattered metal outwards in a roughly spherical blast.

The shell is finely grooved in a pattern I spent days considering. It is designed to induce an aero-cavitation effect, which greatly reduces air resistance, thus increasing accuracy, so that I can deliver precise death at up to 5000 metres. It also continues the spin induced by the rifled bore. I wasn't sure if cavitation could be achieved at such low speeds (around 3000 m/s muzzle velocity), but it turns out to be simply a matter of controlled turbulence, unlike the brute-force approach used underwater.

Using this rifle, I have the capability to fire at a poor, unfortunate scumbag through a wall or two, and remotely detonate the round at the precise time that it passes through the scumbag's head. The titanium-steel shell is strong enough to maintain shape even under the stresses of tunnelling through concrete. This is tricky, but with the enhanced electronic targeting sensors that we've incorporated, it can be done.

Including this capability will reduce bystander casualties, since the bullet won't come out the other side of the unfortunate target to hit anything behind. What this means for the target, on the other hand, is rather horrible. A standard 2000-yard headshot will, with this gun, actually cause the head to shatter outwards from internal pressure. This gun is not designed to leave pretty corpses.

Also, since the Scorpion uses the EIPS system like all my new weapons, the muzzle velocity can be adjusted on the fly, using VDFC. What does this mean? Well, it means I can use tranquiliser rounds, specially designed for the sniper rifle, without killing someone or shattering the trank capsule. It also allows me to lodge an explosive round in, say, a vehicle, a wall, or a Sebitti, and set it off at my leisure so long as the round stays within 7 kilometres. About three-quarters power and I could try lodging a tracking beacon in something, so we can track it on the throat-mike network.

Last but not least, the problem of quick field assembly. I've designed this weapon from the ground up, along with its holster in my new trenchcoat, to simply unfold into combat configuration automatically when drawn, taking only 0.7 seconds. It is 80 cm long when unfolded, and thus retains the long bore necessary for truly accurate shooting.

Projects I'm Working On

1. Spiralfiber Sensor Drone

2. Slivergun

I've covered raw, overwhelming annhilation with the Bernie, and silent, deadly assassination from afar with the Scorpion. Now it's time to get creatively wild.

This little oddity shares two characteristics with the other guns mentioned here. It has the attachments for ammunition loading, and it can kick serious amounts of ass.

The rest of it, though, is quite obviously different from the start.

The entire back end of the weapon is a twisty, flexible cone, 6 cm where it meets the solid barrel, gradually narrowing to 2 cm. It twines for 30 cm around the user's forearm. If you are unfamiliar with this weapon, you might be a little worried when it seems to nestle into you, flexing with the movements of your arm, steadying the forward barrel like a living thing.

You see, this baby's "chassis", as it were, is made entirely of spiralfibers. Therefore, it automatically assumes the most comfortable position, based on the tensing and relaxing of your arm muscles. Most Dreamers will have no trouble, and they will certainly appreciate the customisable "interface".

The forward 20 cm of the Slivergun is a simple cylindrical barrel, and is not flexible beyond a sort of cushioning effect. It has a spiralfiber "handle" which will rigidify as needed to steady your aim.

After someone gets over the whole flexible aspect, the next thing they will be concerned about is the 6 cm width of the barrel, compared to the 1 cm x 2 mm width of the rectangular hole in its end.

You might think this is because of extraordinarily good silencing. You'd be partially right, 1 cm of the thickness is silencing. (If you vibrate an inner part of the barrel to create sound in direct antiphase to the crackling roar of the sliver stream, you get almost utter silence. This thing is creepy, it's going to sound like a librarian saying "Sshhh...")

However, most of the thickness is extremely tightly coiled copper wire, the two ends of which are connected to a capacitor mounted in the tail. This capacitor is charged by either a hydrogen fuel cell further back in the tail, or suit/coat electrical power delivered via umbilical tube.

When the capacitor is charged, it can deliver a rather startling jolt to this copper coil, which briefly becomes a linear accelerator that grabs any ferric metal that happens to be, say, inside the small tube, and flings it out the front at an unreasonably high velocity. Simple physics sadly limits the capacitor's capacity, so it can only send 50 rounds a second through the barrel.

Slivers are 10 mm wide, 2 mm deep steel lenticular discs, with unbelievably sharp edges. They are fed into the barrel-slot by one of two internal tubes, depending on whether the tiny grooves on their surface contain knockout juice or nothing. These grooves are radially offset by just enough to start the discs spinning in flight, stabilising their flight.

They have an effective range of around 30 metres. The offset grooves make them spin faster the further they go, which compensates just enough for the ebbing forward momentum. Normally, this would cause the discs to pull off course towards their direction of spin, but the barrel slot actually makes a 90 degree twist as it goes along. This imparts a secondary rotation to the discs.

So to sum up; the discs seem to spiral around the surface of a straight tube, extending parallel to the barrel, but slightly offset. This offset is something the operator must compensate for.

The end result of all this, of course, is a stream of tiny, razor-sharp, spinning discs headed for some poor bastard. The bastard, if she or he is exceptionally fleet of eye, may note that these slivers are travelling at about Mach 2. This will probably not be useful information.

Of course, if fired in a vacuum, the discs would only twist, not spin. This would still give them gyroscopic stability, but not as much cutting-through-things-ability.

The Slivergun is a strange beast, and I know that my fellow presidential hopefuls will not immediately see the point. An everyday, common-or-garden MP5 can lay waste just as effectively as this gun, costs less, and doesn't look weird.

Well, what use is a baby? They cry all the time, need to be waited on hand and foot, and never lift a finger around the house! Lazy little buggers. Coming here, taking our cribs. Those cribs were ours, once, and we gave them up to these little dwarfs with bad bladder control and terrible table manners!

Anyway, the point I'll have to make to my companions is that this weird little gun is just the proof of concept for an extremely promising line of technological enquiry. After the Slivergun is finished, I plan to start work on a present for the inhabitants of Jutenheim.

Strangely enough, it turns out that it's actually much easier to design a railgun the size of a bazooka than one the size of a pistol. Power requirements are a little heavy, but enough powerpacks should fit on a Sebitti-sized ninja suit for a good five minutes of continuous fire of five-centimetre discs at around Mach 5. That oughta hold those SOBs. (Scorpions Of Bravery)

invite

Graeme Bartlett 03:23, 15 October 2007 (UTC)

Invite to Canberra Meetup #2

--.../Nemo (talk • Contributions) 15:59, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

Recent Changes Camp Canberra Aug 11, 2010

I saw you're listed in the ACT Wikipedian page and thought, by chance, you might like to come to this:

RecentChangesCamp, Canberra is being held at the University of Canberra, Building 7, Room 7XC37 on 11 August 2010.
ABOUT | REGISTRATION | SCHEDULE

Hope we'll see you and friends there, but please register so we can prepare lunch. Leighblackall (talk) 07:33, 22 July 2010 (UTC)

You're invited to the Canberra WikiMeetup on 20 November 2011

Hi! We're having a Canberra Wikimeetup on 20 November 2011 at Siren Bar in Gunghalin from 2pm to 4pm. It's most just a chance to chat with other local Wikipedians, get a chance to go a different sort of bar (which is reasonably kid friendly, serves real food, and has non-alcholic options), and, if you're interested, learning more about what Wikimedia Australia and local GLAM projects are happening. We'd love to see you and any Wikipedia/Wikimedia/wiki loving friends you have there. --LauraHale (talk) 07:19, 31 October 2011 (UTC)

Surprise Hugs!

Found you!

I like the summary of that game - Matt retells it so often, now I can tell him when he's remembering it wrong ^_^ - ManicSpider (talk) 17:23, 17 December 2011 (UTC)

Canberra meetup invitation: January 2013

Hi there! You are cordially invited to attend a meetup being held on Wednesday 9 January 2013. Yes, that is tomorrow. Sorry about the short notice.

Details an attendee list are at Wikipedia:Meetup/Canberra/January 2013. Hope you can make it! John Vandenberg 09:49, 8 January 2013 (UTC)

(this automated message was delivered using replace.py to all users in ACT)

Canberra meetup invitation: February 2013

Hi there! You are cordially invited to attend a meetup being held on Sunday 24 February 2013. Sorry about the short notice.

Details and attendee list are at Wikipedia:Meetup/Canberra/February 2013. Hope you can make it! John Vandenberg 08:14, 19 February 2013 (UTC)

(this automated message was delivered using replace.py to all users in ACT)

Canberra meetup invitation

Hi, you're invited to the Canberra meetup which will take place at King O'Malley's Irish Pub in Civic on 17 February 2016. Bidgee (talk) 02:14, 5 February 2016 (UTC)

Canberra meetup invitation (August 2016)

I'll be in Canberra from the 29-30 August, there is a planned meet-up at King O'Malley's (though I'm open to suggestions) from 6pm on the 29 August. Sorry for the short noticed, only had the trip confirmed this afternoon. Bidgee (talk) 11:37, 22 August 2016 (UTC)

Canberra meetup

Hi, there will be a meetup in Canberra on the 20 January 2018 at 7pm, I hope you're able to make it but understand that this is very short notice. Bidgee (talk) 22:12, 15 January 2018 (UTC)